I'm addicted to scat porn, I need help, ive been doing it for 6 years, I think God has given up on me.

I started getting into porn, around the age 14 my freshman year of highschool, I was just A normal teen, going through the motions, and everything, well first off, when I was around I want to say 6, or 8, or more, I remeber, A girl in my class put her hand under the table, and next I notice, there was some wet licquid on her hand, I assumed it was pee, she just tinkled alittle, now obviosuly I wasn't old enough to understand, how to be aroused or anything, but I remeber, for some reason, I was getting excited, and for some strange reason, wanting to lick it. please don't judge me, we are just getting started. When I was younger, I was always fasinated about how girls use the bathroom, or if they had A wee wee, like the boys, I wanted to see if they pooped like guys, and what not, it's very disturbing, even for A young boy. That brings me to actually my freshman year of summer, going into sophmore year if that makes since, I remeber going on the internet, getting into just looking at women naked, masterbating or what not, it interested me very much, I kept that up all summer, down the years, I remeber just getting tired of just normal porn, so i wanted to spice things up this isn't even porn mind you, I start finding about efro, which is basically, being turned on by women releivng themselves, I know it's sick, I know. I started watching women pee outside pictures, videos, ect, to my surprise, I was getting excited by looking at girls peeing,and aroused me more than ever, I kept that up for A good long while, but that just didn't cut for too long,I wanted more kinkyness, I moved on to the butt, my favorite part of A women, most guys wouldn't be around A girl who farts, even if she's hot, with me it's different, everything to do with A girl's bum, I wanted it, farts turned me on from A girl, pooping, and peeing, that turned into women pooping, seeing these sites with hot women, doing what any human does, naturally to my surprise, I got sexually aroused by that more than anything, and what was even better was that these women, were leaking, cum, which really drove me insane, becuase they were getting turned on by themselves pooping, I knew I was hooked then, all of these sites with hot women, being kinky, and nasty, still being sexy drove me over the edge. What ive been curious about all my life I find this addiction so difficult to control, even though I know it's wrong, and perverted. The God part comes in because I thought I was saved, but what I was doing didn't seem like the christian way,A true cchristian wouldn't sin willinfully to feed his flesh, and disregard God's laws, I kept doing it, I felt guilty afterwards many times, then id pray and ask God to forgive me, few weeks went by, back at it again, gulity start all over again, you get the picture, that kept going on for six years, ive heard that if u grieve the holy spirit he will leave, and I think ive commited the unforgivable sin, becuase God won't forgive me anymore, because there were times I did it intentionally, just to get pleasure, help me guys, I want this to stop. I feel like A pervert, and A pedophile, i hate this, I can't have A reletaionship because of this. Somethimes sucicide thoughts over take me. I don't want to be like this forever!